Two hillbillies walk into Hawk n Dove. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation at the D. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver,' but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

Check this out; I think I could actually be convinced to give this a whirl:

Had a good game of axis and allies last night, where I am happy to say Russia and the UK once again met in the middle whoopin up on Germany. Dirk did put up a good fight with the Axis Powers though.

There were some happenings on the moonshine front last night that I will leave up to our resident moonshine expert to explain. The house is still standing I am happy to say.

This does lead me to the following reflection though.

I was thinking about something I read way back a few years ago about gumption traps. A Gumption Trap can be explained as (in relation to fixing a motorcycle): "Throughout the process of fixing the machine things always come up, low quality things, from a dusted knuckle to an accidentally ruined 'irreplaceable' assembly. These drain off gumption, destroy enthusiasm and leave you so discouraged you want to forget the whole business." One of my favorite definitions, and discussions from a good book: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. This really applies to anything in life. Just think of the little things that come up that totally zap your good mood, or enthusiasm toward work/play; completely throwing you off target. It takes gumption to re-approach the problem/situation dusting off what ever just happened to you, and soldier on.

Another crazy weekend at the hillbilly haven, or as we all call it "The D". 2 birthday parties; both of which I crashed along with friends. Numerous Saki Bombs; a first for me. Karaoke, where the top song of the evening was Liv'n on a prayer with the whole place standing on tables and singing. Beirut practice. And to top it off a run in with a genuine crazy person. Oh and my favorite bartender is on the mend and back on the job.

That's a normal weekend folks which is why I love this town.

Growin up back in the Dub-V, we had only one good bar and usually just went fishing or road around on four-wheelers for fun. Generally anything that you could do while drinking. It's a great place to be from, but not necessarily a place I want to live now. Probably what most people that are from the country, but have escaped would tell you. I do miss things about it though. Like this pic from the top of Seneca Rocks; one of my favorite spots in the ole Dub-V. Probably about 3.5 hours from DC.

This is from the edge of the rocks which anyone can hike right up and out on. No fence or supervision. I heard a story about these rocks from my dad a few years back. The rocks used to be privately owned. But the state wanted to condemn the land and force the guy who owned them to sell so they could make the area into a state park. They didn't offer him what he wanted, so he said if the state didn't raise the price to what he was asking he would rig the whole formation with dynamite and blow them up.

The state decided to pay him what he wanted.

There are not many times in this life where I will be positive when someone dies but in this instance all I can say is

Good

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Friendly Competition

This right here is why soccer is the single greatest sport on earth!

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Oh I also want to try and see if this works. This is me gett'in medieval on a paper target at the shooting range in VA. Shout out to Lil' Stevie Knobcheese's friend Chris for taking us to the range and providing us an arsenal large enough to secure Anbar Provence (well maybe not that big).

Break Yo'self Fool!

Alright Foo's!

This is my first post to the official CapitolHillbilly blog so the pressure is on. I thought it'd be awesome if we had a theme song for our rag tag crew of hooligans. Partly out of necessity but mostly out of a desire to shamelessly plug the irockmusic.com project (this is a whole other post) I am submitting my first candidate. I hope to see others follow. Without further ado....

Edit: DCBean "I moved the embedded player to the template and works like a charm.

Figures that this damn thing wouldn't work right. Alright, well click on this link to hear it (it will probably prompt you to close your window, just say yes) I know it's crappy but I'm working on it!

I guess maybe I helped save a life yesterday. I wasn't going to take credit for it, but after talking to someone wiser than I, I think maybe I did help out in some way. It’s not really what I do, but what my company does. My job is tangential; behind the scenes. I keep part of the engine running so that everyone else’s job is easier. Yesterday, I was invited to observe a recovery in the OR. There I am standing next to the surgeon at the table, trying to make out exactly what that little things is and what that is connected too, and maybe what that might be. They were nice enough to give me a bit of an anatomy lesson as they went along. Absolutely Fascinating! Especially for me as I am one of those people that took about 50 credit hours of Bio and Chem, thinking that I wanted to work in healthcare, before changing to my current field. One of the best things about my company is what we are all working to accomplish, not just what I do. Here is the national site with data on the problem we are trying to solve: http://www.unos.org/

So other happenings... lets see, I fulfilled my sorta-catholic obligation of ash Wednesday mass, yesterday. My first time to church in DC. I loved the big old building, and the music was awesome. I have never been to a service with a good jazz drummer accompanying the choir. I will have to go back more often.

Little Gay Timmy with the lovely Chocolate head!

This may be the funniest comeback I have ever seen. Tim Hardaway you truly are a prick!



First time I have tried to embed a movie so I don't know if blogger supports it, if not Click Here

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Recent events at the HillBilly Haven; aka the D.

Living in an old house definitely has its disadvantages. After a really long weekend of doing what I do best, I decided to spend today studying. (I am trying to not be an eternal graduate student; I hope to be finally done this summer. ) So while I am trying to concentrate, I keep hearing this weird dripping sound, but ignore it as I am deep in my relational database lecture. Little bit later my roommate comes upstairs and starts cussin up a storm. Turns out the roof over top her bed is just pouring a steady stream of water right on to her bed; and what is sitting right in the middle of her bed? Brand new power book. It is a gonner. I think she went into the shower and cried after that; not a good way to spend the holiday. There was a bunch of ice that has been sitting on the roof, and today it started al all melt. Always something with this place...

On a different note, our 6 week house guest has moved on to her own place so my rommie R-Dub has his room back. Of course this meant that he and I had to do what hillbillies always do; help out, and move her stuff. Every time he or I help someone move, one of us will comment: Strong Back Weak Mind, and agree.

Mario's Fish Bowl. Probably my favorite Bar / Restaurant in the world. It’s not much to look at, just a hole in the wall really, but I have had so much fun there. After WVU games I have sat and drank family style with locals, students and people that are there for the opposing team. The bar is setup so that you sit around it like a big dinner table. Beer is served in frosty 32 oz fish bowls, and there is always some good ol country or classic rock playing.

Due to the snow this weekend, I didn't make it back to the Dub-V, which has me a bit down as the fish bowl was going to be my first stop. I'll make it back over the hill sometime soon though.

Convenience, the Inconvenient Truth

Well here it is, my first post to Capitol Hillbilly. I did want this to be something fun, but instead you are going to get a rant!

It all starts off well enough, I managed to get 4 tickets to The Shins at DAR in Washington DC (not my favourite venue but never mind). I am pretty lucky in that respect, as I am one of the few people who could be on (the evil) ticketmaster site within the first 30 minutes of sales commencing, so I can't complain so far.

The aforementioned tickets were, a high, but not unreasonable $26.50 per ticket, so for the mathematicians among you that should add up to a total of $106. One gold star for each of you that got this right, this is not however the cost of the tickets, here is what the tickets actually cost me:

FULL PRICE TICKET US	x 4	$26.50
Facility Charge US	x 4	$1.00
Convenience Charge US	x 4	$9.15
Delivery (Standard Mail)	No Charge(It would have been $4 for the privilege of printing them in my own home!)
Order Processing Fee US	x 1	$4.85
Total Charges US	$151.45

So $106 worth of tickets miraculously becomes $151.45, how and why?

Well I will answer the why first, the answer is quite simply greed, greed on the part of a once small company with a great idea which has now become the evil monopoly known as ticketmaster, I am not exactly sure what happened to them since their inception but they now control 90% of all ticket sales from 63% of all venues. So basically we, the consumer, are f*cked.

And the How is easy, by using the "convenience charge", or as I like to call it, the "in lieu of physically being able to f*ck you in the ass charge ". $9.15 per ticket on a $26.50 ticket, it's bloody ludicrous, I have actually read that they previously charged $9 on a $15 John Mayer ticket, and he is rubbish! For f*cks sake if you are going to make money off someone else's talent at least make sure they have some!

Oh well, I guess if the government won't protect us from these wankers we will just have to continue as we are, feeling abused each time we buy tickets. One day I'll be strong enough to stop going to shows in protest, until then I just hope These Guys keep up the hard work.

Rant Ends.

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